5 Steps of Caring Elderly Parents, When Your Ageing Parent Needs Living Assistance

Ageing is inevitable and it happens to everyone. It is best to think about old age as a time to connect and be of benefit to your family in a deep and meaningful way. It can be extremely hard to find out that your Mom or Dad needs more care than you can provide, such as assisted living or in-home care. But it is important to know the right steps to take to help to begin the process. Just as our parents cared for us when we needed it as young children, there comes a time when the roles are reversed and they depend on you for more assistance as they age. Lantern West can provide that assistance just when you need it most. We have put together 5 important steps to take when you realize your parents need assisted living.

1. Determine what you can and cannot afford.

It is important to note that money does play an important role in what type of care you can give to your parents as they age. Get together with your family and start making a budget of what you can afford on a monthly basis. Having your finances figured out before starting the search and diving in is crucial to the beginning of the process. You might need to get creative with your funding process like using social security or veterans benefits. Or you might have to liquidate some assets such as a house or piece of land you inherited from your family. This guide to financial planning may help during this first step.
Assess your parent’s or loved one’s needs

2. Assess your parent’s or loved one’s needs

Assessing your parents needs can feel overwhelming at first because you might not know what kind of care or help they need the most. Additionally, there are things your parent or loved one might not need now but might or will need later. To understand fully what your ageing parent or loved one needs, it is helpful to write down all of the possibilities of care and note which ones your parent needs the most. Write down this list of 8 areas: Family support, home safety, medical needs, cognitive health, mobility, personal hygiene, meal preparation, and social interaction. Then, take note which of these areas your parent already does perfectly well on their own and which of these areas need the most attention. Also, write down how much help you think your parent will need in every category in order to stay as healthy and safe as possible.

3. Think about your own needs and abilities

Before attempting to do everything by yourself you should first write down all the things that you can realistically help with. Assessing your own needs and abilities is just as important as step number 2. It is easy to assume you can do it all when it comes to helping your parent or loved one as they age, but often times people end up sacrificing too much of their own quality of life to care for another. This is not a sustainable way to begin assisting your loved one. Many times, we think we think we know what to do only to feel even more frustrated, burnt out, and lost in the process. It is entirely alright if you are not the best person for this particular job. That is why there are others out there like the nursing staff at Lantern West that are here to help you. Try answering the following questions about your own life and abilities before jumping to conclusions.

• Does your health allow you to physically care for someone?
• Do you live close enough to visit as often as needed?
• Would you want to live with them, either in their house or yours?
• Do you have the kind of relationship that allows you to spend a lot of time together without creating a lot of negative feelings on either side?
• Do you have the personality to provide the type of care they need?
• Are you willing to learn how to provide that care?

We all want to help our parents as they get older live the safest and healthiest life possible. However, it might not be realistic or possible to assume that you are the best person to provide that kind of care. It still means you are a good son or daughter. Looking out for their needs by properly assessing your own and knowing what you can handle is the most effective and thoughtful way to care for and support your ageing parent or loved one.

4. Include your parent or ageing loved one in the process

When big decisions arise such as hiring in-home care nurses, making meal delivery arrangements, or making adjustments to your parent’s daily schedule it is best to include your parent in the process. No one likes to lose control of their own life. Especially if that someone is already concerned about losing control of their independence. Of course, you can do most of the legwork of researching all available options and assessing the most pressing needs. However, it is best to remember to be kind, thoughtful, and always include them in the decision making process. Allow them to ask questions and present their own ideas and preferences. Then, ideally you can present them with options to choose from. Suggest small changes at first, then gradually lead up to bigger ones. This allows them to work with you as a partner rather than someone who is suddenly controlling their life and making big changes around them. Stay as compassionate, open, and patient as possible during this process. It will benefit both you and your loved one in the long run.

5. Make communication as easy as possible and set up in-home safety basics

One thing you can absolutely do to help ease your loved one in starting in-home patient care or any other changes to keep them safe and healthy is to adjust their phones and computers to be as easy to use as possible. Make the font size larger if they have trouble reading the screens. Make it as easy as possible for them to keep in touch with family members and friends, make a phone call, send an email, or call someone for help. Loneliness and isolation can make their health much worse, so give them reassurance by putting important numbers on their speed dial on their cell phone and on sticky notes next to their telephone.

In addition, it is important to set up their home to make it safe and fall-proof as possible. Some in-home safety basics include making sure all floors and walkways are clear of clutter and cords, adding grab bars in the bathrooms and stairwells, updating all lights so each room is bright and making switches easily accessible. Further suggestions can be found here in this home safety for seniors article.

In summary,

Caring for your aging parent can feel overwhelming. That is where we at Lantern West come in. We are here to help you and your loved ones live a healthy, safe, long life as effortlessly as possible. We hope this list was helpful for you to make the most informed decisions about what to do next and how to proceed.  Please feel free to contact us with any questions you might have about in-home care. We encourage you to take the next step in assuring your ageing loved one they stay independent, safe, and healthy as long as possible.

Review the Ultimate Home Care Resource Guide to help navigate online care search